When Being Good Enough Is Never Enough — Jake’s Story

What happens when the need to be “good enough” becomes a pursuit of being good?

In Part 2 of this What Triggers You? series, I sit down with Jake, a neurodivergent man whose experiences of being misunderstood, criticized, and judged fueled a powerful need to prove himself and find acceptance.

For Jake, that search eventually became intertwined with religion. Being a “good Christian” offered what seemed like a path toward certainty, belonging, approval, and perhaps even perfection. If he could believe correctly, behave correctly, and be good enough, maybe he could finally feel safe from judgment.

But perfection proved impossible. And the neurodivergent traits others misunderstood or judged didn’t disappear simply because he tried harder.

Jake’s journey eventually led him away from the pursuit of religious perfection and toward questioning, skepticism, and a different understanding of himself.

Although Jake and Michelle’s stories look very different on the surface, the trigger underneath them is remarkably similar: the pain of being judged, doubted, criticized, or misunderstood and the exhausting urge to prove your worth to someone else.